If it’s important to you, you and your partner can always explore trying out different types of oral sex techniques just in case there is a form of oral sex that does get you off. (Here’s our guide on how to give passionate oral sex. You may also enjoy incorporating tantric yoni massage.) It’s possible you’ve never consciously thought about how you feel about your vagina and vulva, but poor genital self-image can definitely make it harder to enjoy sex and even have orgasms. Especially when it comes to oral sex, you need to love your yoni for you to be able to fully lean into the pleasure. That means learning to love its shape, size, color, and smell. Try to begin to see oral sex as a form of worship. Allow your partner to worship you as the goddess you are. Take a peek at The Vulva Gallery to get more familiar with what vulvas can look like. Spoiler alert: There’s no one shape, size, or color! You might also benefit from grabbing a hand mirror and spending some time looking at your own vulva. Consider reciting mantras of love and empowerment while you do this, or simply send love to your vulva as you look at it. During oral sex, practice breathing into orgasmic feelings. As your partner is going down on you, try some tantric breathing techniques to keep yourself grounded and focused in fully on the pleasure, instead of getting distracted by being self-conscious about what you look like or smell like, or what your partner thinks of giving you oral. When you get to the edge of climax, breathing deeply will help you push the orgasmic feelings through your mind and body. Let the breath out and let it all go. A few questions to ask yourself: Be honest with yourself and with your partner about what is going on in the relationship. Your sex life is a reflection of your romantic life. If things aren’t going right in your relationship, it’s hard to make it right in the bedroom. Isadora passed away on March 26, 2017. During her life, Psalm made a name for herself as a bold, outspoken sex, relationships, and trauma expert who lived to inspire the next generation of women. She demystified the ancient secrets of Tantra to make them accessible to the modern masses. Raised in a religious cult as a child, Isadora endured years of sexual trauma that eventually ignited her passion to teach sexual empowerment and modern sex ed. In 2007, Isadora traveled to India to immerse herself in the ancient teachings of Tantra to facilitate deep healing and discover her own path as a healer. For eight years, Isadora traveled to India to delve deeper into the path of Tantra and teach yoga to sex-trafficked women in the red light district of Calcutta, work that would eventually become part of a documentary titled Shakti. She studied the Śrī Vidyā tradition of Tantra under spiritual guru Sri Amritananda (Guruji) in Pradesh, India, and was initiated into Shakti Tantra Yoga. We will miss you, Psalm. You will certainly never be forgotten.
