The only qualities that make a vagina “perfect” are good health and confidence. Here is an overview of what anatomy looks like for the female external genitalia. Know what your “normal” is so you will know when something is not normal or when a potential problem arises. She went on to say her boyfriend told her that her lips were “too big” compared to others he’d seen. When I asked her who the others were, it turned out, they were the women on the porn sites he visited. Sadly, I wasn’t at all shocked to hear this because, unfortunately, he’s the norm, not the exception. Gail Dines, Ph.D., is a professor of sociology, modern-day hero, and a leading anti-porn feminist who wants to tie the “porn monster down that has taught our girls to hypersexualize and pornify themselves.” Dines is on a mission of education, within which she and her group Culture Reframed, plan to use a public health approach similar to how my generation was educated about drinking alcohol and driving. She won’t be the only one wanting to reclaim our young girls and boys. One study found that 42% of internet users1 between the ages of 10 and 17 have been exposed to online pornography. Of that group, 66% reported that the exposure was unwanted. The average age for a child to be exposed to pornography now is 11 years old. This means that our children are often learning about “normal” sexual behavior and physical appearance from the likes of Jenna Jameson and John Holmes. Many women (and men) now expect—even want—all vaginas to look like Jenna’s does. Girls and guys alike visit porn and other sexually graphic websites, and not just to get off, but also to see what the perfect vagina and the ideal penis look like. An internet search of the word “vagina” brings up a variety of links, many leading to everyday women showing off their vaginas: YouTube videos of women talking about vaginal rejuvenation, websites devoted to discussing and examining anything vagina-related, and, of course, porn sites. These are the reference points that young women—women of all ages, really—now use when seeking the ideal of the perfect vagina. Adolescent boys are having the same issues regarding the size and length of their penises, even though, like vaginas, no two penises or scrotums are the same. This is where I come in with my agenda of vagina empowerment. I want to reduce your anxiety and help you have more realistic expectations about what’s normal by giving you an accurate view of the vagina in general. Believe me, the perfect vagina is actually a medical norm and not an aesthetic ideal. More and more, my patients are asking me what the perfect vagina looks like and how they can get one. Women of all ages, including adolescents, are now aware of cosmetic genital procedures that vow to make the vagina beautiful, even perfect. I get a lot of inquiries about these alterations and what they can and can’t do. While my goal is to care for my patients and make their lives better, from their health and well-being to their level of self-esteem and sexual pleasure, I sometimes have to dole out some tough love when it comes to their quest for the perfect vagina. If having surgery will make a patient feel happier and more confident, I can absolutely see the benefit. Yet, I always caution her to really think her decision through before she does anything drastic. I ask my patients to honestly consider the following: So, before you do anything cosmetic and permanent, think about it, talk to your doctor, talk to your friends—have a long, hard, compassionate look at your vagina. Know what you’re really dealing with before you embark on a drastic plan. In other words, educate yourself.
