At a time when we are separated by visible and invisible barriers, forced apart by social distancing, and almost completely reliant on more impersonal forms of communication like email, social media, and video chatting, a love letter is a particularly meaningful and romantic gesture because it’s slow, intentional, and deeply personal. Mental health counselor Chaute Thomson, LMHC, points out that couples can often forget to keep connecting with each other as they get swept up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. So, a love letter can be a moment to step back, get in touch with your emotions, and show some serious affection to your partner—particularly if it’s not something you often do with each other. “Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your heart,” she recommends. “Many times, we are scared to truly share ourselves out of fear of rejection or misunderstanding, but writing a love letter creates a genuine opportunity to connect with one another.” Really lean into your emotions—that’s what’s going to really make your love letter sing. Don’t just start with “Dear [name]"—instead, greet them with something more romantic or personalized. Pet names and inside jokes work great. Examples: Whatever it is, say why you are writing the letter to give your letter some context. For a longtime love, you want to talk about memories, overcoming obstacles together, what made you fall in love initially, why you still love them today, and what you see in the future. Examples and ideas: Examples: Examples: For starters, writing for a crush can be really scary because there is a risk in putting yourself out there if you have no clue if the feelings are mutual. However, there is no way to know how they will respond if you don’t open yourself up. Many of the tips given in the previous section of writing a letter for a longtime love or partner apply to writing a letter to crush, though obviously the difference is you don’t know them as well. Here are some general tips for letter writing for a crush: Before writing a full-throttle love letter to a crush, you should have some sense of where they stand—some inclination that they might feel the same way about you. If you know that you’re both crushing on each other, a love letter can be a great gesture. Alternatively, you can write someone a love letter simply with the intention of making them feel loved, without making it about trying to start a relationship with them. Sending an extremely affectionate love letter to someone who has no clue that you like them or who doesn’t view your relationship romantically might be overwhelming and can make some people uncomfortable. Consider whether you’re writing this letter for their benefit or for your own; if the latter, it may make more sense to write the letter without sending it. This can still be a very therapeutic process for you! Without going over the top, describe the little things that make this person special to you. Don’t just focus on their outward appearance—talk about their inner qualities, such as their strength, resilience, playfulness, passion for their work, etc. Examples: If you’re not sure where the recipient stands, it is important to let them know that there isn’t any pressure on them to do anything, to respond to the letter in any specific way, or to feel the same way you do. When closing your letter, consider imagining what the relationship might look like: To get yourself into a mindset of creativity and inspiration, you need to manage your environment.” Tapping into your five senses can help you get into the right head space. For example: It’s OK if you have to write and rewrite the letter a few times before you get to a version that you are ready to send. Practice makes perfect. If you don’t like what you’ve written, don’t settle. Keep at it until you end up with something you love, which will ensure your recipient loves it too. At the same time, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The recipient will most likely appreciate your efforts, and their focus will be on the sentiments shared in the letter and not on how “well” the letter was written. Thompson suggests thinking about the five love languages as you write—aka touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. Which of these ways does this person enjoy receiving love? “Be sure to touch on what your partner’s love language is when you are writing to tell them what you love about them,” Thompson says. Examples and ideas: It takes time to put together and is a permanent testament to your love that doesn’t disappear in a long thread of text messages. Lover letters are one of the greatest exemplars of true romance. The letter isn’t even the romantic part but rather the idea that your lover is thinking of you even when they are not physically in your presence. Writing a love letter lets them know their importance in your life, captures what makes your relationship special, and demonstrates what makes the person you are with amazing to you. Finally, a love letter allows your partner to see themselves through your eyes, which is, in itself, a gift. Miller, known online as Lia World Traveler, is also a public speaker who regularly presents on panels and at workshops, conferences, and events nationally and internationally. She is also foreign service officer/diplomat and has worked extensively on issues across the Middle East, North Africa, Europe, and Latin America.
