Whatever the reason may be, there are times when it becomes necessary to try to figure out how to stop liking someone so much. While we can’t control the way we feel, below are some steps you can take to help quiet the intensity of your feelings and start the process of letting go and moving on: Cut the fuel at the source. As much as possible, try to spend less time with this person. If you can’t fully avoid them (for example, if they’re a co-worker, classmate, or part of a friend group you see often), keep your distance during any time you’re sharing space. You don’t need to be rude or completely ignore them, of course, but keep conversation to a minimum and try to avoid any one-on-one time together. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone and not actualizing it. As long as it’s not affecting your ability to get through your day-to-day life and meet your own needs and you’re not negatively affecting this person and their ability to navigate their life as they want to, you can like someone quietly and privately without taking action. See if you can make peace with the idea of liking someone without needing to “have” them. Romantic feelings don’t need to be reciprocated for them to be cherished and valuable, and we can still enjoy someone’s company immensely while still respecting their boundaries. With her warm, playful approach to coaching and facilitation, Kelly creates refreshingly candid spaces for processing and healing challenges around dating, sexuality, identity, body image, and relationships. She’s particularly enthusiastic about helping softhearted women get re-energized around the dating experience and find joy in the process of connecting with others. She believes relationships should be easy—and that, with room for self-reflection and the right toolkit, they can be. You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: kellygonsalves.com/newsletter
