According to this research and other scholarly articles1, the two types of passion are harmonious and obsessive. The primary difference between the two is that harmonious passion arises autonomously, or willfully. Obsessive passion, meanwhile, is more of a compulsion, characterized by internalization that “comes to control the person.” In this article, we’re focusing on harmonious passion—which, by the way, research has found to be associated with psychological well-being, as well as preventing psychological conflict. As relationship therapist Ken Page, LCSW, tells mbg, your passion is “where you feel the beating heart of your humanity, where you feel most deeply the things that matter, and you live out of them with ever-increasing skill.” And according to licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli, L.P., developing or uncovering your passion isn’t necessarily easy. It takes time, effort, work, and action, she explains, adding that it might start off as an interest or curiosity. “Discovering one’s passion is discovering the deeper parts of yourself, who you are, and what your gifts are. It can truly be a powerful place when you connect to your passion or passions,” she says. For one thing, Spinelli says there are cases where people feel a passion is unnecessary to pursue. “They may be content with their current lifestyle and not have the desire to connect their daily life to finding a deeper purpose they’re passionate about,” she explains. But of course, there are those in the camp who feel life is empty without that sense of deeper purpose, motivation, or passion. And according to Page, it’s not uncommon for us to put our passions on the back burner, almost to the point of being completely alienated from them, due to conditioning, life circumstances, obligations, and so on. “I would say everybody has passions but to varying degrees. We numb ourselves against the heat and the intensity of our passions—and life helps us do that because we need a career, we have obligations—and so passions can seem like a luxury,” Page explains. But to that end, he says, we can wind up in a painful, empty, and difficult place if we find ourselves ignoring or lacking things we’re passionate about. So, if this sounds all too familiar, here’s how to discover (or reconnect) with what you’re passionate about. Grab your journal and dive in: Here’s our full guide to vision boarding to help you get started. He recommends spending two whole days writing down all the big and small things that inspire you, and after those two days, you can start to notice common themes and patterns. “These are indicators of what your true passion is,” Page explains. “What are the shared themes here that are connected to your passions? When you connect the dots, a picture begins to emerge,” he explains. You can also do this exercise while particularly focusing on your education and career, thinking about the things you’ve learned or done professionally that felt meaningful to you, Page adds. “A mindfulness practice helps us to be more attuned to our inner, true feelings,” she explains, adding that we often already know what we’re passionate about and just need to get in contact with our inner selves to bring it to the forefront. For one thing, he says, your passion is for you. The world may not appreciate or value whatever it is you’re passionate about—or, on the other hand, the world may take advantage of it. But in either case, the process of discovering and flexing your passions is about allowing yourself the space to “parent your passions,” and “help them grow up and find their legs in the world,” Page says. And while passions can seem like a luxury in a world where everything seemingly needs to be monetized, productive, or a side hustle, Page explains passions shouldn’t involve pressure. “Learn to honor, appreciate, and enjoy your passions. The more you delight in your passions, the more automatically, they will begin to fill your life more and more,” he says. There’s also tremendous benefit to partaking in your passions with others who are also into the same things, and Page says if you’re struggling to get into a groove with your newfound passion, it would be a good idea to join some sort of group (even if it’s an online page), find a local club, or go to events where you’ll be able to find people who are passionate about the same things you are. And lastly, going back to the idea of putting pressure on your passions, don’t feel like you have to suddenly dedicate all your time to this thing. According to Page, it’s about finding structure within your life that supports you in playing with this passion, even if it’s just carving out 15 minutes to enjoy it.
