Allosexuality is a fairly new term, which means not everyone will immediately recognize it or its importance, and this often leads to misconceptions. Hodder-Shipp says one of the main misconceptions linked to allosexuality is that the term itself is unnecessary because of “the incorrect and harmful assumption that all people experience consistent sexual desire and attraction, and because it’s the norm, it doesn’t necessitate a label.” “Simply put, allosexual is the opposite of asexual, and the term was created quite intentionally—if there’s language to describe a person who feels little to no sexual attraction, then there also should be language to describe a person who consistently does feel sexual attraction,” they explain. “Because this is a concept that arose from the [asexual] community, it’s a way of contrasting what many people think of as the norm with the space that ace folks occupy,” Queen explains. “Rather than this state of sexual interest merely being thought of as normal, the term allosexual gives it a name and depicts it as one of the different ways to relate to sexuality. It puts sexuality (and the role of asexuality) in a different and in many ways more equitable context this way.” “[An allosexual person’s sexual orientation] will help us understand what subset of people they find attractive,” Queen says. “There are also a few kinds of sexuality that don’t specify gender; you could say that pansexual doesn’t, and there are also terms like sapiosexuality—attraction to brainy people—but of course someone could be a hetero sapiosexual, a bisexual sapiosexual, etc.” “But since one’s romantic orientation is not the same as their sexual orientation, alloromantic would not describe all allosexuals (some allosexuals aren’t interested in romance, just connecting sexually),” Queen explains. “It could also be considered the opposite of aromantic—not desiring/feeling romance. It’s also worth noting that this means someone of either asexual or allosexual orientation could be either aromantic or alloromantic.” “The socially constructed idea that all humans experience a universal ‘drive’ for sex is so deeply rooted in our systems and institutions that many people—including doctors, therapists, and other professionals with influence—have a hard time believing that someone might not experience sexual attraction and, instead, create false narratives to make sense of what they don’t understand,” they explain. “Folks who do experience sexual attraction benefit from allosexual privilege and don’t experience the same kind of judgment, misrepresentation, and pathologization that folks on the asexual spectrum do—but keep in mind that allosexism harms everyone, not just ace people.” Allosexism contributes to an array of misinformation and misunderstanding about how attraction and desire show up for people and help perpetuate harmful expectations for how our feelings and bodies are supposed to show up and function. “For instance, allosexism makes it easy to judge someone (or our partners) if they feel low or no sexual attraction or desire and make it about something it’s not: that they don’t love us, that we’re not hot enough, or that they must be getting sexually satisfied elsewhere,” they explain. “Allosexism also allows doctors and therapists to pathologize feelings of low or no sexual attraction and, in turn, transform a person’s normal experience of attraction into a medical diagnosis, a sexual ‘dysfunction,’ or mental illness that requires treatment of some kind.” “Labels can [also] be a start for helping to educate people. Using these labels is important because they help to start a dialogue and can help increase awareness that there are orientations other than the ones they’re familiar with. But again, there’s the possibility that that will lead to othering, or the idea that this is just a phase or a trend. At the end of the day, labels are important. They help with visibility; they help with education, and they can help with acceptance,” she says. In the case of the term allosexual, this label specifically helps support asexual people and destigmatize asexuality.
