However, this doesn’t mean that online dating is strictly a young person’s game. Far from it! People in their 40s, 50s, and above happily find connection and commitment via good dating apps and websites all the time. As couples’ therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., LMFT, ACS, puts it, “Dating online is successful for many people, and it can be for you as well.” In case you need some proof, we rounded up a whole bunch of online dating success stories featuring people over 40 who found love on dating apps: The site we were on doesn’t allow you to look at photos unless you’ve also uploaded a photo. So, I searched through my photo archives, found a few, and posted them – literally for 20-30 minutes at most. Suddenly, I get pinged with a message. It’s him, and we begin chatting. We spoke online through the site for about an hour. Then we shifted to the phone. We must have spoken on and off for nearly 12 hours the first day we ‘met.’ He suggested we meet the following day. As much as I had enjoyed our extended conversation, I hesitated because of the differences in where we both were in our lives. Finally, I agreed to meet him at a local shopping mall – I’m not a big fan of taking extended walks outside in the middle of the winter, plus it was a public place, in case he turned out to be a creep. I left my house late, that fear of success or failure slowing me down. I got there finally, late and offered to buy him the first of many coffees we shared that day. We must have walked miles, covering every square inch of the mall and never running out of things to say. From that moment on, we’ve been nearly inseparable. It’s been a year so far, and I have to say that one of the best things I did was ignore all the reasons I was writing him off and take the chance to meet him in person. He’s become my best friend and my love, and the life we’ve been building together is far more exciting and satisfying than the solo nomad empty nester life I had thought I’d wanted.” —Adrienne & Steve, ages 55 & 55 Our first date was scheduled to be on Friday, February 12th, at a local restaurant, but he was so eager to meet me that we met after work near the nail salon I was at getting ready for our date! We had sushi at a small spot nearby, and we had such a great time that he offered to give me a ride home from Manhattan to Brooklyn (he lives in Queens) just to prolong the date. As we were sitting in the car outside my place and talking, someone hit his car! I immediately got to see how he handled stressful situations, and that is a very important quality. Rare to witness that so early on but it was very admirable that he was able to maintain his composure and handle the situation with grace! I love how passionate, communicative, loyal, loving, and dedicated he is. All those traits trickle into every aspect of his life including work, fatherhood, and our relationship. We don’t live together fully at the moment, but the plan is to spend the rest of our lives together. We each have children, so that adds a layer of complexity, but thankfully everyone gets along and are respectful of each other. A funny point is that just before I messaged him, he was considering deleting Bumble out of frustration. We’re both glad he didn’t.” —Ruth & Frank, ages 43 & 45 —Rinal & Gabriel, ages 42 & 45 When we met for the first time, the sparks were lit. However, we took it slow, sensing that this might really blossom into something important and because we each have our own vulnerabilities when it comes to intimacy. I’m currently 50 years old, and he is 42, which aligns with my tendency to date younger men. The things I love most about Adam are how playful, talented, and witty he is! Along with his huge heart. Ooh, and he’s gorgeous—there’s that too! Eleven months later, and we’re still going strong. Thank you, Tinder!” —Treena & Adam, ages 50 & 42 —Barbara & Tim, ages 53 & 57 We were honest and upfront about what we wanted the end results of dating to be from the outset. We both agreed that we were working towards marriage. We talked about the qualities we wanted from each other and how we would work together to make it happen. I just love his humor, and he has a great heart. He loves me unconditionally but will also challenge me when I’m making unwise decisions. He’s not afraid of or intimidated by my success levels as an entrepreneur, which is something I struggled with for years while dating in my 40s. Two weeks into the relationship he started calling me his fiancée. I just blew him off because I thought he was playing. The more he started showing me that I was his One, the more sure I became, and that’s when I told him that I would be his wife. Best decision ever!” —April & Lorenzo, ages 47 & 57 We don’t recall exactly what the initial message said (it has been 7 years!), but my husband thinks it was a reference to how tall I am and a question about whether I liked baseball. I had used my limited Tinder space to indicate I am indeed, 5’11 barefoot and requested suitors be taller than me. I ascertained he liked baseball from the pictures he included in his profile at games and coaching his son’s little league team. We definitely spoke about baseball in the early days (it still is an ongoing topic and something we both love) as well as family in the early exchanges as it is important to both of us. He invited me out to lunch for our first date. He was in my town working, and we met up at an upscale but still casual lunch spot. I remember seeing him for the first time in person as he waited outside for me. I was so excited that he was as tall as he said he was, and that his shoulders were so broad (he’s a former athlete). Later in our dating he revealed that he was equally as attracted to me the moment he saw me. I remember thinking as I stood next to him that first day, how comfortable I felt. Between our phone conversations and him showing up authentically, it created a great foundation of trust. I love my husband for many reasons. First and foremost we are one another’s best friend. I have a great deal of respect for him as a man, husband, and father.” —Teresa & George, ages 52 & 51 —Laura & John, ages 42 & 47 If you’re looking for something more serious, there are also a wide variety of options. For example, Match.com has been around for a long time and is generally considered to be a place for people to find serious relationships rather than hookups. Match is also far more targeted to people who have progressed past the hectic dating life of one’s twenties. It costs money to use, unlike Tinder, which also ensures that people are there for the right reasons. If you’re willing to really commit to online dating as a way to find The One, then eharmony is another great choice of dating app for the over-40 crowd. It involves completing a very in-depth questionnaire that’s used to match you with other users that the algorithm deems you to be compatible with. This cuts down on time wasting, and users of eharmony have boasted many successful marriages over the years. For those who are 40+ and also of a particular faith, sites such as Christian Mingle or Jdate can also be well worth a look. At this stage of your life, you know full well what you want from a partner, and having a shared faith can provide a steady foundation for your relationship to rest upon. (Here’s our full roundup of the best dating apps for serious relationships.) Some research has found that as many as a third of American marriages begin online and that these marriages were slightly less likely to dissolve than marriages that began in other ways. So, it’s fair to say that online dating has a pretty high success rate, generally speaking. Interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.
