These are the typical stages of a romantic partnership: During the honeymoon phase, our brains are flooded with chemicals—dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline increase, creating the feeling of lust and/or attraction toward someone. The combination of these can be intoxicating, making us ignore certain issues and potentially red flags. After some time, these neurotransmitters dissipate, allowing the “high” to wear off and the relationship to move into Phases 2–4. The Back-to-Reality Phase is usually when folks break up if one person decides they don’t want something long term. If you continue to move into the longer-term territory, sometimes feelings of disconnection can happen. Now, are you actually disconnected? Maybe. Or maybe you’re simply feeling a lack of the flooding of chemicals from the beginning. So, how can we keep the yummy pleasure and happy, adrenalized feelings from the honeymoon phase throughout? Well, we stay connected. Whatever phase you’re in, you can continue to create opportunities for the fun chemicals while really getting vulnerable, being honest, and deciding what you want for yourself and this partnership. So in the interest of staying connected, here are a few things to do on your next date night to help you feel truly connected in your long-term relationship: The key here is having the and—getting all your relationship needs met during your time together. If you can make a schedule for your date, you can make sure you actually get to everything you want to do on your date. Also, charades is always a fun go-to. Just. Have. Fun. Rachel has been featured widely in the media, including on Cheddar TV and PIX 11 (NYC); as a regular contributor to SHAPE, INSIDER, mindbodygreen, InStyle, The Dipp, and Well & Good; and in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, NBC News Radio, Huffington Post, and hundreds of other outlets. She has brought her message to stages across the globe, was SHAPE Magazine’s Sex Relationships Coach, and created the virtual workshop series What You Wish You Learned in School: Sex Ed, and she is currently one of mindbodygreen’s article review experts. She also recently did a show at Green Room 42 in NYC called “One Night Stand: A Night for Sexier & Healthier Broadway.” Rachel lives in New York and loves live theatre so much. You can probably find her in PJs eating gluten-free food with one of her partners if she’s not working! Learn more at www.rachelwrightnyc.com or connect in her cozy corner of Instagram, @thewright_rachel.
