It took only a few weeks of this before I realized that dating was taking its toll and that I was becoming bad at it—failing to respond to texts and messages in a timely manner, rushing through dates with people I felt little connection with and, eventually finding myself leaving all of my dates with a nagging desire for the solace of my quiet apartment. Here are some tips for avoiding the dating drain and staying true to your introverted self. Because of this, you may be initially unfairly labeled as shy (a common misconception), nerdy, or aloof. Keep in mind that whoever is worth your time and getting to know will take relish in peeling back those layers to tap into your rich inner landscape. And don’t feel the need to play extrovert just to fit in. If you’re questioning whether it’s worth meeting someone in person (a blind date or online date, for instance), then schedule a phone call. You will know within a minute if they are. Avoid burnout at the outset by being both choosy and true to yourself. Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, said that “Relationships make everyone happier, introverts included, but think quality over quantity.” Had I been honest with myself and with him that communication was so fundamental to me, we could’ve saved ourselves some time. Lesson learned: don’t be afraid to ask tough questions from the get-go. There’s no reason being an introvert should make for a less vibrant dating life. So embrace all those things that make you you, including your introverted qualities, and show them to the rest of the world! Remember: authenticity is attractive.
