“Based on the data I’ve seen and my conversations with scientists who study the physiology of orgasm, it does not seem to be the case that orgasms induced by different forms of stimulation ’look’ different physiologically,” says Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., a social psychologist, author of the Sex and Psychology blog, and expert at Lovehoney. “Anatomically, an orgasm refers to a series of contractions that occur in the genital region, so if you define ‘orgasm’ solely in terms of a physiological response, an orgasm is an orgasm.” That said, the psychological experience of orgasms can vary significantly, he notes, depending on factors such as substance use, how excited and aroused you are, how distracted you are, or how much pressure you feel to reach orgasm. These factors can affect the way an orgasm feels, even though the same thing is happening physiologically. That’s why it’s possible to have some orgasms that feel mind-numbingly amazing, some that feel just OK, and some that actually feel bad or painful, Lehmiller explains. Yes, bad orgasms are a thing. Below are at least two dozen “types” of orgasms that are unique in some way, whether by how it’s induced or how it feels. Notably though, even orgasms from vaginal penetration could be considered clitoral orgasms. “The vagina and clitoris are intimately intertwined, with the clitoris having a sort of wishbone shape that surrounds a good portion of the vaginal walls,” Lehmiller explains. “As a result, vaginal penetration necessarily provides some degree of clitoral stimulation.” “There are some men who say that prostate-induced orgasms are even more pleasurable than orgasms that occur from penile stimulation alone,” Lehmiller explains. “However, scientists don’t think this is because the physiology of orgasm is somehow different—rather, it might be due to heightened awareness of body sensations due to the fact that prostate-induced orgasms often involve inserting something into the rectum. In other words, having something inserted in one’s anus can help to pull them out of their head and into the moment, thereby allowing them to experience orgasm more intensely.” In folks with vaginas, the anus and rectum’s proximity to the internal clitoris and nerve-dense pelvic floor area are thought to be why some vagina owners can reach orgasm from anal sex alone. Anal penetration can also stimulate the A-spot and P-spot in the vagina as well. (See below!) “It’s reported that3 15% of women can achieve orgasm when this area is stimulated. Properly stroking this area that feels soft and spongy in a ‘windshield wiper motion’ can bring about an orgasm,” says Sherry A. Ross, M.D., OB/GYN, Lady Parts cohost, and author of she-ology and she-ology, the she-quel. “It can be confusing since the A-spot may feel similar to other tissue in the vaginal canal.” She recommends a sex toy to more easily reach and stimulate this area. Some people also use the term “P-spot” to describe the perineum, the diamond-shaped area between the anus and the vagina or scrotum. The perineum can be very sensitive and contribute to an orgasmic experience when stroked, particularly among people with penises. The term “P-spot” is also sometimes used to describe the prostate in people with penises, which can be stimulated anally and trigger anal orgasms. (See above.) Some people say cervical orgasms tend to feel more full-bodied, as do the orgasms you have after edging. Stimulating and undulating the upper body during sex can also contribute to a full-body orgasm experience. “Start by tracing the areola with a feather-like touch until the nipples become erect. Move between the nipples to the breasts to the neck and the belly,” tantric sex educator Psalm Isadora once told mbg. “Start pinching the nipples firmly at the root, and begin rolling the nipple between the thumb and index finger. Play with varying pressure from lighter to very strong.” Clearly, there are endless ways to experience orgasms, some of which might sound exciting and some of which may not. Pick the ones you’re curious about exploring and dive in, and don’t worry about the rest. With her warm, playful approach to coaching and facilitation, Kelly creates refreshingly candid spaces for processing and healing challenges around dating, sexuality, identity, body image, and relationships. She’s particularly enthusiastic about helping softhearted women get re-energized around the dating experience and find joy in the process of connecting with others. She believes relationships should be easy—and that, with room for self-reflection and the right toolkit, they can be. You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: kellygonsalves.com/newsletter
