While being in a healthy relationship has its perks, rarely do we think about all the good that can arise from being single. Here are just a handful of benefits, according to psychoanalyst and relationship expert Babita Spinelli, L.P., and psychotherapist Megan Bruneau, M.A., plus how to be happy single when it doesn’t come naturally. Bruneau adds, “Being single is an opportunity to become more comfortable with life’s inevitable discomfort. We generally have no choice but to open ourselves up to emotional discomfort and learn how to navigate rejection, disappointment, and uncertainty.” Being single and even “unsuccessfully” dating can stir up a lot of emotions that are similar to grief, Spinelli adds. “For many, there is a picture of the kind of partner they would want, and when they are surrounded by friends who are in a relationship, it elevates the loss.” Understanding that you can’t compare two people’s journeys is key here. Nevertheless, having friends in relationships in some ways forces you to confront this discomfort and learn to be OK with it, as you learn how to be happy single. And as Bruneau notes, it never hurts to find some more single friends. I’m on my own healing journey, and my future partner is on theirs as well. They’re doing the work to be the person I need them to be in a relationship, and I’m doing the same. When the time is right, we’ll come together to continue our journeys.
