That heartbreak cut raw and deep. But ultimately, it allowed me to find strength, happiness, and peace that only I could give myself. It also put me back in the dating arena. But this time, thanks to a hefty load of personal work, it was different. My last relationship (once I moved past the pain) was full of beautiful learning opportunities. The more fun the actual date experience is, the more fun you and your date will have. And guess what? People bond over interactive new experiences. And even if you don’t, at least it was fun. Get creative. This very grounded, centered approach to living is attractive. You’re not freaking out about the future; you’re living in the moment and you’re confident. When you’re here you know that if it’s meant to work out, it will. In any relationship, especially a dating relationship, you should be with someone who respects you for kindly and compassionately speaking your truth. Point blank. Remind yourself that you’re just getting to know the person and this takes time. You need to decide if they’re truly the right fit for you. And once you relax, be yourself, and give the process time, you’ll find out. What are your boundaries? Think about it and stick to them (sometimes they get foggy when your vision is blurred by new love). And remember, you’re still just getting to know the other person. You need to take care of you so you can show up a healthier, happier person when dating. Plus, boundaries foster respect. They indicate you know yourself well enough to know what you need and that you think you’re worth it. And that’s sexy. Ultimately, dating is a process that’ll help you not only learn more about others but also about yourself. What you like. What you don’t. And eventually, when you meet your match, your past experiences will help you be a better partner. Remember, there are a gazillion reasons why something like that could’ve happened. Don’t try to read their minds and don’t take it personally. We all have our own stuff and they might be working through theirs. And if you really want to know what happened, ask from a place of compassion and honesty. You’ve got nothing to lose. Inevitably, even if just casual, you will become (in some way) more attached to the other person. Figure out where you stand here and know that the right person won’t stop seeing you just because you’re not sleeping with them, though the wrong ones might. And whether you meet the love of your life or not, you’ll be doing things you love and having new experiences, which will make you a healthier, happier human. And healthy, happy humans with wide-open hearts are downright attractive. And guess what? They get asked out more. Get out there.
